Posts

Jehovah Jirah

  "God Will Provide" Today marks 5 months since we rolled into Panama City with 2 moving trucks and a plan for what we thought we were going to do next. As you already know, that original plan got torched and turned to ashes right off the bat. To say it's been a bit of a struggle is an understatement. But, can I tell you something? This has still been the best experience I have ever had to struggle through. We've been here long enough now to experience a few highs, and a few lows and I am left in a place of awe and wonder at God's goodness.  This road has been anything but easy and there have been a few times where we have absolutely been discouraged, but I'm framing my disappointment a little differently these days. I've never felt more in charge of my own life, and yet more vulnerable than ever before. I'm painfully aware of my lack of a support system here every time I need a helping hand running kids around to three different places, and I'd g...

Fear Is A Liar

   One thing I am thankful for that has come out of this "worldwide pandemic" is the way it has forced me to go inward and ask more question than ever before. At 42 years old I had to face a lot of my internal thought processes and ask myself "why" quite a bit. Why do I think that? Why do I feel that way? Why do I believe that is true? Why do I believe that is not true? Why do I stand on this dividing line instead of that one? And finally, am I living my life in line with what I say I believe? Asking myself those questions challenged me to stop and really think about what my true and honest answers were to those tough questions.  One of the hardest parts of me and Jon deciding to step out and make some dramatic life changes was that in the midst of making some tough decisions I was still struggling with a desire to please everyone....and I couldn't. For instance, I wanted our move to make sense to others, but I knew it didn't. I wanted to have good answer...

The work God does in our hearts while we wait....

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     We left Kansas City on Wednesday morning, July 28th to travel to Panama City for the planned closing on our home in Florida that was set to take place on July 29th. We were told by the builder of our home that if we could not close on the 29th our contract would be cancelled and thrown out. Due to this sense of urgency we decided to leave Kansas City and trust that the one last "tiny" detail in our loan process would come through as promised in time for our closing. The "tiny detail" that we were still waiting on was that our appraisal had been completed, but the report had not been turned in yet. Our lender said the appraiser had sent an e-mail stating that he would turn in the report on Wednesday afternoon, and no one had any reason to believe that a professional in this industry would not keep his word. In order for us to make it to our closing all the way across the country on time (remember...we were being told by the builder that our contract would be thr...

Hold On To Me

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    I am writing this blog entry exactly 10 days from our planned closing on our Panama City home...and I still don't know if we are going to make it to the closing table without any complications. Our builder will not extend our closing date & my husbands work will not give us answers. It's a really hard spot to be stuck in. We have put nearly all of our savings into the earnest money deposit and travel/moving costs associated with this move & now we are at the point of no return since the appraisal and inspections have been ordered on our home in Panama City.  It's not exactly where I thought we would be 10 days out from closing, but the answers we have needed are taking longer than expected to come. To say our faith is being tested and stretched right now is an understatement. I am laying my whole future down at Jesus feet and asking for him to make our path clear right now. Jesus be near! I know we didn't mistake God's voice. I know we had the most amazi...

Stepping Out and Starting Over

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  In the middle of the 2020 Covid Pandemic our family packed up the family cars on July 3rd, and got the heck out of MO. We drove all night to get to our favorite vacation destination in the Florida panhandle to soak up some sun, sand, ocean waves, and a little extra dose of freedom. At that time FL was opening up all their beaches and restaurants, while our land-locked Midwest prison was shutting down all of our favorite restaurants, refusing to allow gas station fountain drinks, and closing the local Wal-Mart at 8 pm.  We decided to rent a large home on the beach and let our oldest daughter who had just been robbed of the second half of her Senior year bring 4 friends with her. Just for some extra fun, and a fuzzy layer of happy chaos, we invited my sister and her two kids to join us as well! The more the merrier, right? It was clear that all 13 people on this trip desperately needed a break from the tyranny back home when happy tears flowed at the site of an open IHOP, and ...

A New Era of "Not-Normal"

 Friends-  Hang in there with me. I haven't attempted a blog since 2010! However, after my decision to jump-ship from all social media on November 13,2020, I still want to have another way to keep in touch with friends and family that may not necessarily call or text me. This isn't a perfect solution, but it is a place where we can hopefully communicate openly and without censorship.  I don't really know what this new era of "not normal" is supposed to look like, but this will be my little corner of the universe where I can talk with friends that are just as lost as me. We are all in this strange lifeboat together, so maybe this can be a place of encouragement & peace of mind. One thing is for sure, from the private messages I was receiving on Facebook I am POSITIVE I'm not alone. YOU are not alone if 2020 has you questioning the sanity of the entire world around you. Hopefully this can be a place where we encourage each other and speak TRUTH openly withou...