Jehovah Jirah

 "God Will Provide"

Today marks 5 months since we rolled into Panama City with 2 moving trucks and a plan for what we thought we were going to do next. As you already know, that original plan got torched and turned to ashes right off the bat. To say it's been a bit of a struggle is an understatement. But, can I tell you something? This has still been the best experience I have ever had to struggle through. We've been here long enough now to experience a few highs, and a few lows and I am left in a place of awe and wonder at God's goodness. 

This road has been anything but easy and there have been a few times where we have absolutely been discouraged, but I'm framing my disappointment a little differently these days. I've never felt more in charge of my own life, and yet more vulnerable than ever before. I'm painfully aware of my lack of a support system here every time I need a helping hand running kids around to three different places, and I'd give anything to have weekend plans with old friends where we go out to a fabulous restaurant & laugh until our cheeks hurt. Right now I do not have those things, but I know this present circumstance is only temporary. I'm willing to trade the temporary sorrows for future happiness. 

Right now I am in the early days of another new "start" in my life. I started a new job  7 weeks ago in a field that I knew NOTHING about.  I am really enjoying learning something new & the fact that this office would even consider me for this position with no previous experience speaks of God's goodness in and of itself! Because I am being careful about what I share online  about my personal life I will be careful here not to overshare too many details about my new job here. I am happy to chat with friends in "real life" and tell you more about my new job. However, I can say that I left the insurance world despite that being a field I really loved because for whatever reason a job in the insurance field here in Panama City was just not working out when I was job hunting. The work I do now is in the entertainment industry. Basically, my employer provides the entertainment needs for many of the local resorts and wedding venues along the Gulf Coast. It's been fun learning a whole new role & I genuinely enjoy what I do. 

What I love about this story is that this whole experience really humbled me in ways I did not know I needed to be humbled. You see...when I was trying to manage my job hunt in my own strength and wisdom, I was getting nowhere fast. I actually accepted a job doing medical billing and coding again, and it took me a whole 2 days to realize how miserable I feel when I do that sort of  work.  I would have never even known about my present job had one of our new friends not introduced me to the owners. It was kind of a crazy way that it all came together, but anymore I am learning to lean into those "crazy" ways more often because it seems that's how God likes to prove his ways are better than my ways. :-)

Jehovah Jirah means God will provide....and I am learning a fresh new understanding once again of God's provision. As I look to a new year I pray that God will continue to lead our family in His will and that we will learn to listen closely to his voice. I pray that these experiences we are walking through now shape our understanding and willingness to go wherever God leads us next.